Is Life Coaching Worth It?

Happy New Year! In the last few days, many people will have been thinking about their New Years Resolutions. It's a great opportunity to re-evaluate what's important in your life and what you want to achieve in the next 12 months. Increasingly,  people are turning to life coaches to help them accomplish their goals. But is life coaching actually effective? Is it worth it?


In this post I'll be discussing the benefits of life coaching and I'll help you to decide if it's right for you.


What qualifies me to discuss life coaching?
I've been interested in the personal development field for over 10 years. I've read a silly number of  books in this genre, some good, some bad. Most importantly, I've implemented the best ideas that I've come across in my own life and I've been really pleased with the results. So I know from first-hand experience that there are self-help techniques out there that really do work. Regular readers of my blog will have heard me say before that my life is in a really great place now. I'm not saying that I have a perfect life, but I'm happy with every area of it. My marriage has gone from strength to strength and I feel very lucky to have a career that I love.


A couple of months ago, I decided to see a life coach myself. I opted for (allegedly!) one of the best coaches out there, Tim Brownson. I have been following his blog for about a year and eventually I decided to take the plunge and have a few sessions myself. They've been great!


Recently I've been teaching myself life coaching techniques so that I could have an in-depth understanding of both sides of the fence, both client and coach.


And before you ask, no, I'm not getting any kind of commission for writing this article! I'm being as open and honest as I possibly can.


What can life coaches help with?
Two of the most common areas that people seek help with are with their careers or with their relationships. Most life coaches can help with both of these, though there are also coaches that specialise in certain areas. Please do search these out if you already know exactly what you want to work on.


Other people want this year to be the one during which they finally shed those extra pounds and reach their ideal weight. Some people don't know what they want, they just know they don't feel satisfied with how things are right now. And some people just want to learn how to be happier.


Life coaches can help with all of the above.


How do I know if a particular coach can help me?
It's a good idea to make a list of your own questions to ask a prospective coach, so you can be certain you won't be wasting your money. If they have a blog, read a few of their articles and see if you like their style.


Although any reputable life coach will have undertaken a certain amount of training, I feel that this isn't as important as you might think. It's far more important that you 'click' with a particular coach and feel you have rapport. Any coach worth their salt will let you have a free initial consultation to help you decide if you're right for each other. And the very best coaches will offer a money back guarantee after the first session.


It's important to check how long the coach has been in business. If they've only just been trained, the results may not be as good as you'd hoped. Ask the coach how many clients they've had in the last few months. The coach may even be able to put you in touch with their previous clients so you can ask them about their experiences.


What can a life coach teach me that I can't just get from a book?
This is actually one of the questions that I asked myself before hiring a coach. It's tempting to consider just buying a set of books and teaching yourself certain techniques. There's nothing wrong with this option, in fact I've been doing it myself for years, but there are certain disadvantages to just reading books:


1) Time. Firstly, just reading lots of books takes a huge amount of time and not all of the information will be relevant to your needs. However, life coaches are skilled at quickly getting to the heart of the stuff that's important for you. Many people see impressive results from coaching after just 4 to 6 hour-long sessions.


2) Knowing vs Doing. As I've learnt myself the hard way, there's a big difference between just reading a book (knowing) and actually implementing the advice (doing). Most people read books for enjoyment, skipping over some or all of the exercises. Then they feel disappointed when nothing changes in their lives! By contrast, a life coach will help give you that motivational boost to actually change your thinking and behaviour, day after day. 


3) Blindspots. This is probably the most important reason to hire a coach. No matter how well we think we know ourselves, we all have blindspots. I found this out myself during my first life coaching session with Tim Brownson. He pointed out one of my own blindspots and it felt like a revelation! At first I felt stupid for not noticing it myself, then I remembered that this is exactly the kind of thing that makes it worth hiring a professional life coach. You can read a million books and have great self-awareness, but you still may be missing something that a good coach can point out in 10 minutes flat.


Is life coaching a 'real' profession?
Life coaching is a relatively new profession and it's currently unregulated in the UK and US. Unfortunately that means that there are plenty of well-meaning yet incompetent coaches out there. Even worse, there are a tiny minority who are nothing better than con artists trying to rip you off. That's why it's important to do your own research and be totally happy with your choice of coach before handing over any money. If you know someone who has had coaching themselves, ask them if they're happy with the results and if they'd recommend their own coach.


Shouldn't I be able to deal with life myself? Isn't asking for help a sign of weakness?
Stop being so macho! We're in the 21st Century now! 


If you wanted to improve your golf skills quickly, there would be no stigma associated with hiring a golf coach (if could afford it). Similarly, I think that life coaching if a perfectly valid way to quickly see the improvements you want in your career, love life, health, and so on. I like to think of life coaching as some kind of super life shortcut!


What can life coaches do that counsellors, psychiatrists or psychologists can't?
These well-established professions definitely have their places. They tend to do a great job of helping people who have really quite serious problems in their lives or poor mental health. The goal is often to get their clients back to a 'normal' level of operating in day-to-day life. But these professions usually have little to say when it comes to achieving human excellence (though the fledgling field of 'positive psychology' is starting to make up for this).


By contrast, life coaches tend to work with clients that are already more or less 'average' and 'healthy'. The focus is on achieving excellence, not just normality. Personally, I find that far more exciting!


What actually happens in a life coaching session?
During your first session, the coach will probably want to ask you lots of questions about your problem/goal, just so that they can ensure that they understand the situation thoroughly.


After that, the coach may start working on those issues with you, or first they may want to undertake some more fundamental exercises, such as discovering your values. It really depends on the particular style and training of the coach.


When working on issues, Tim Brownson provides very little direct advice. Instead, most of his time is spent asking very specific questions which help you to think about your issues in a new way. There are a number of advantages to this approach. For example, psychology studies have shown that people tend to be better at making changes in their lives when they feel like they've come up with the answers themselves. In this sense, Tim is a master questioner! During my sessions with him I had several, "Aha!" moments that I reached thanks to Tim's skilful questioning.


What specifically did Tim help me with?
I've now had 3 sessions with Tim. There were loads of little benefits. But here are what I consider to be the 4 most important changes that I've seen as a result of life coaching:


1) I've now committed myself to starting my own business. I'd been toying with the idea for a very long time, but Tim has helped me to overcome my doubts and finally get on with it! I need to be very clear here - Tim didn't persuade me to start my own business. He didn't advise me either way, in fact. All he did was ask me certain carefully worded questions that helped me to realise that it's something that I really do want to go through with.


2) I now feel far less anxious in certain situations. Tim helped me with some cool techniques.


3) I've clarified my values. I was already pretty close with these, but Tim helped me feel completely certain in them. Values are important because they help to explain why certain careers, relationships etc feel right for you and others feel very wrong. Understanding your values helps you to make much better decisions because you'll be in touch with what's really important to you. For me, my 3 most important values are Fun, Growth and Connection.


4) Tim helped me to overturn a particular negative belief I've had about myself for ages. It now feels totally ridiculous that I'd believed something so silly. Now that this false belief is out of the way, it's helped me to feel more confident in certain areas. This is a great example of the blindspots that I mentioned earlier. I don't think that any amount of book reading would have helped me with this issue.


I've still got 1 session left, but I'm saving it until I find something else that I really want to work on!


Did I find life coaching worthwhile? Would I recommend that you hire a life coach?
I've certainly enjoyed my sessions with Tim and it has definitely helped me in certain areas. I'm a bit of an unusual case for Tim because I was already pretty happy with all areas of my life before we started our sessions. Usually Tim's clients have at least one or two areas of their lives that they're significantly unhappy with. These areas tend to be the ones that get focussed on during the life coaching sessions and there's often plenty of room for improvement.


So, you can see that I was setting Tim a pretty hard task to improve my life when it was already pretty damn good! But, I'm pleased to report that he's managed it.


So, if you're like most people and have a poor track record when it comes to New Year's Resolutions, or perhaps you just have a vague feeling that 2012 is your year to really make a difference in your life, definitely see if a life coach might be able to help you.